No Thanks I've already got one

I've been thinking about DIY projects recently. I haven't sewn anything in a while and suggested to my wife that we sew our own perfect curtains for the bedroom window. We know exactly what we want and it would be a fun simple project. I love giving myself projects. It turns out other people love it too. The difference is, I know my limits. If I accept a project into my life I need to know how long it will take. I hate long to do lists so I resist making them.

I realised other people have this problem too when I watched I love Dana K. White's videos on avoiding clutter, Clutter Avoidance Stragety 5 "No thanks I ready have one, thank you."

I used to bring all sorts of things home to work on. But I realised through experience that I didn't work on them. Now that I've been decluttering my home for four months I know why. When kids have too many toys they don't play. When I have too many toys I don't play. I'm just a kid in the end. I love collecting interesting rocks and shells and flowers but if I have them all sitting in a pile I can't enjoy them. Same goes for DIY projects. They are fun but I don't do them because there are so many options. Too many options. So now I resist.

Here is how it happens. I'm on a walk with my friend and we find neat old table covered in paint splatters for free. This is common in my neighbourhood. Instead of having a garage sale we simply put out the items we don't need for free. It kinda ends up like a swap. I put things out that I don't need and take things that I do need. I've found beautiful pictures on the side of the road and lovely dresses. I've put out dresses that I no longer wear and even a ukelele that I wasn't using. It's fun and it's community. But I don't need this table.

So I start to talk myself out of it. "It's very pretty but it's got paint all over it. And how would I get it home?" I know I don't need the table. I just need a moment to let go.

But my friend decides to help. "Oh, you could get rid of the paint splatters. I'm not sure the product but there is something that removes them from wood. I'll help you carry it home."

I politely decline, "But if I did bring it home then I would have to get that product. I don't think I would get around to it."

They insist, "I'm sure you would. You just have to go to Home Depot."

I get frustrated, "I already have a table. I don't need this one. Let's go."

Why do my friends try to encourage me rather then discouraging me? Maybe because it's really clear that I do want to take home this object.

It happens with clothing projects too. I look at a dress and my face lights up. But in the same moment I see a flaw. "Oh, I like it so much but it's got a tear."

My friend agrees. "Oh yes, it does. But you can fix that."

I've learned the correct response. "But I already have a sewing project, and I'm only allowed to have one."

My friend is confused. "Well, this one is pretty quick."

I nod and put the dress down. "I know, but I'm only allowed to have one. Otherwise I have too many."

I'm not sure why this is a tricky thing to explain.  Of course I can't start a collection of things to repair. My friend sews too and should know this.

I asked my wife and she suggested it is because they love the idea of doing these projects but they themselves are lazy and don't want to do the project. So it's kinda like living vicariously. My best friend pointed that I'm a hippy and I like DIY projects.

I've learned something from writing this post too. If I need to work through my reasons for not taking the object out loud I first need to say. "I'm not taking this." Then the people around me know that I've already made my decision.