My brain is a mess right now.

If you are readying a blog called Messy Brain Dysfunction you won't be surprised to learn...I'm a bit of a mess sometimes. I decided to write down some of the ways that I'm struggling with this messy brain of mine right now. These are real problems, but they have a humorous side to them too. I love my brain. I like it's quirks and it's antics, even when they are inconvenient. So this isn't in the category of hard things. It's just a curiosity piece.

The spelling in this blog is a little odd.

Spelling. Over the last week my wife, who also reads this blog, has commented on quite a few spelling mistakes. I've been struggling with burn out over the last week. Apparently my spelling suffers. And it isn't just regular spelling mistakes, it's word exchanges such as "throw" instead of "through"

I'm writing in the English/Roman Alphabet when writing Attic Greek.

Writing by hand becomes much harder. Yesterday I did a English to Greek Translation and by the end I had just accepted that it was just practise and didn't need to be coherent. This might be a bit tricky for someone who doesn't read ancient Greek so I'll break it down.
In this exercise I would write out an English sentence and then translate it into Greek. After #2 I gave up writing down the English and just started translating. So I was just writing the Greek and not the English.

The problem is I'm not writing everything in the Attic Greek Alphabet. I am writing partly in the English Alphabet and partly in the Attic Greek Alphabet. Aka, it's a mess.

A false sense of procrastination

I should be working right now

This is a thought that runs through my head from time to time. Less so now that I am on ADHD medication and have started managing my procrastination, but it still happens.

The problem with this thought is that often when I feel guilty for not working, I actually am working. It's just a habitual thought. It bears no connection to reality.

Yesterday I got a book on writing. It offered the common advice. Write every day. Write no matter if you want to or not, no matter if you have something to say or not.

I thought to myself 'wow that sounds great, I should do that. A good way to establish a habit, but I just don't have the time.'' I just don't have the time. And I don't know what I would write about...

I don't know what I'd writing about? Yes I do! I'm doing it right now!

 I don't have the time? Yes I do! Writing is one of my projects. This blog and my Scythia Mapping Project are both writing projects. I'm making time right now.

Recently I started taking my writing projects away from my desk. I sit on the exercise bike. I mull over the dishes. I chat with my wife. When I was working on philosophy papers during my first degree, my favourite part was when I was procrastinating. I would sit on the kitchen floor with my roommates and tell them all about what I was working on. I was so excited about my writing and my projects. My roommates also took philosophy. We would argue and talk through it. I loved it. I loved 'procrastinating.' Looking back, I wasn't procrastinating. I was working. I just wasn't at my desk.

Losing track of time

My time tracking ability is haywire right now. Sometimes perfect. Sometimes absent. I've been losing track of time. But this one is a mixture of curse and blessing. On the one hand I have to be extra careful not to forget a social engagement. But on the other hand I experienced flow for the first time in years on Wednesday. I set down to write and lost track of time. Writers will know how glorious that feels. For me it brings back the memory of being at the lake with my sister. Were walking barefoot down a hard gravel path, wearing our bathing suites. I don't remember why. But we decided to swim part of the way. The water was just a bit cooler then the air. Our bare feet left the hard gravel. The water was soft and gentle and being in it felt so easy. That's what flow feels like to me.

Tidied things away, even when I'm using them.

Over the last few days I've put away the following things.

1. The tapioca box. I needed the instructions. I put it in the recycling.

2. A plate. My wife was using it. I put it in the dishwasher.

3. The milk. I hadn't used it yet.

On the plus side, my tidying habit is now a real habit! I'm so excited that I've actually started loading the dishwasher without thinking. This is amazing to me. But I have made a rule for myself. If I'm tidying up while working I'm not allowed to tidy away anything that has been used in the last 20 minutes, because it's probably still in use!