Life detective

Both in house keeping and when working with people I struggle with implicit assumptions. I find implicit assumptions annoying, because I'm not good at noticing them. But I've started to sleuth them out. I've started working as a Life Detective.

I learned from Dana K White that sweeping the floor also involves picking up the things that are on the floor. I dislike things on the floor, but previously if I had decided to sweep that meant picking up would have to wait. I'm sweeping, not picking up.

Today I finally understood what it means to wipe down the table in the morning. I don't generally wipe down the table. Clearing it takes priority. I wipe it down when I need it for food prep or when there are guests coming. It turns out wiping down the table contains the same implicit assumption as sweeping the floor. You need to move the things off it before you do so. So when I say "I'm wiping the table" I mean that I'm putting away the milk, setting the tea table on the corner chair where I keep it, putting the sugar back, putting food away, and removing the garbage, and then running a cloth over it. It turns out wiping the table is much more complicated then I thought it was, but now I know it is a lot easier!

The same goes for dating. I finally figured out that when someone I've recently met asks me to 'have coffee' it probably means a date. If someone on the bus asks for my number it probably means they are interested in me. It's easier now because I can say, 'sorry I'm engaged.' But previously I wouldn't understand. I would assume they just wanted to hang out. I've had more then one confusing phone call from someone who thought I was into them. 

The same goes for ADHD medication. I tell people that ADHD medication has made a massive difference in my life. It has. But ADHD medication also means counselling and a support group. It means a year listening to the iProcrastinate podcast. It means reading books about time management. None of these things were effective without medication, because they are aimed at people without ADHD. Now that I am medicated the advice to "just get started" is useful. Yes, I do procrastinate. But the procrastination wasn't the issue. It was the intense mental anguish of sitting down to work on something. That mental anguish is still there, but it is quieter. I can address it. 

I'm learning to watch for implicit assumptions. It isn't easy for me to identify them but now that I know they are there it can be a game. I get to be a Life Detective, figuring out what is meant by seemingly innocent phrases.